This is a game where you must decide between feeding an irritating stomach ulcer or feeding the expectations of the public. It is not a game for the faint-hearted. The winners of this game stand the risk of being the most ridiculed people ever. When you win, you become your own personal hero but not one for the public. To others, you are nothing but a disgrace. One to be banished or avoided forever. I wanted to win but I was scared to death about what would be said to me. It was a personal battle for me that I could not afford to lose.
The expectation at this high profile government official’s wedding was that anybody in attendance had to act a certain way. It was a wedding attended by the affluent of Kampala and you could not afford to be seen acting like some rogue. I was not exactly related to the groom but you know how some of us westerners can ‘tie’ on people. There was FBI all in the name of family deployed at the party just waiting to catch me offguard and relay a report of misconduct to my beloved mother. There was a small issue though; I was ‘hearing’ these ulcers claiming their rights in my stomach and truth be told, I had just been in the queue. It was a sin to double-deal. You do not just walk back to the line for food for the second time with all these big shots surrounding you. Frankly, I was on the verge of death. I could not think straight and what I had put on my plate earlier could not guarantee me life. I needed to act drastically or face the wrath of the most judgmental family in history.
As I was going through one of the most trying times in my life, I saw these skinny girls fill acres of their plates with salads. “Who in their right sense of mind gets to attend a wedding of such magnitude and fills their plates with vegetables?” I cursed. Guys, I was hungry and angry. I looked over the serving table and my neurons could not help but sense the aroma from livestock that had been slaughtered. My hormones raced and calmed down for a while before I made a life-changing decision.
Majestically, I held my plate and stood up before matching towards the serving table. This has got to be the longest journey I ever took. As I drew closer to the holy grail, I heard the father of the groom emphasise in his speech about how people shouldn’t eat more than they can handle and I thought he was referring to me. He was basically advising the couple on cheating but I got it wrong and dropped the plate. Everybody turned around to see who had dropped the plate, and then… To Be Continued.
