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Don’t forget to reshuffle your gamba n’ogus

One of my biggest discoveries last week was ‘ekitiribita’, some drink that the Bahima make out of millet flour. Of course, those folks that market other things will claim ekitiriba has more uses beyond what I tell you. But believe them at your own risk. Ekitiribita is basically food on the go. For those of us that still proclaim to the school of singlehood, ekitiribita comes in handy. It is kinda like the kikomando of the Bahima.

So armed with my new skills of making ekitiribita, I have no doubt that I will fulfil the President’s vision of transformation. I seek to transform from a low peasant economy to a fully industrialised middle class. But this transformation cannot come without the support of my partners, aka the gamba n’ogus. You know, in Uganda you must have a gamba n’ogu for everything. You must be connecting. Otherwise without a gamba n’ogu you can be stranded.

And that is what almost happened to me. One of my own had a traffic misunderstanding and I had to count on my gamba n’ogus to resolve it. But one by one, they were not forthcoming. The response rate was poor. I realised it has been long since I last reshuffled the gamba n’ogus. My gamba n’ogus have fattened and grown docile. A gamba n’ogu must have the ability to close out an issue with one phone call. Henceforth, all my gamba n’ogus will be sent back to my version of ‘Kabalye’ for reskilling and retooling in the art and science of gamba n’oguism. You see, I have a Gamba n’ogu for passport issues, a gamba n’ogu for loans, a Gamba n’ogu for gigs. But what happens when your gamba n’ogus get lazy? A reshuffle is imminent.

That said, I realised the biggest problem of Uganda’s music industry today is the lack of competition. Everyone is just on their own. Life requires some serious rivalries. Bebe Cool is because Chameleone was. Chameleone is because Bobi Wine was. But today, you can wake up from Lwemiyaga and you will land a hit in Kampala. You just need some funny and catchy song title, something that excites the thoughts of Ugandans. You see, something such as enkudi, or you could complicate it and say enkyukuli.

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