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Monday troll: Mwenda to name suspect if Sheebah keeps fearing

A photo combo showing renowned journalist and businessman, Andrew Mwenda and musician Sheebah Karungi

Former journalists Andrew Mwenda is indeed a good citizen. His concern for pop star Sheebah’s wellbeing is something not even the Pope could have imagined doing.

While Ugandans were busy making fun of Sheebah, Mwenda cared enough to send CID and even call the First Son to try and talk the singer into revealing the alleged pervert in her sexual assault claim.  Now it appears that the CID and all others have not managed to convince Sheebah to name the pervert and chances are that Mwenda will activate the Special Forces Command on her.

Sheebah is protecting the pervert from Mwenda’s wrath because only God knows what he will do with the suspect once identified.

At this rate, Mwenda can just name the suspect and ask SFC to convict instead of having his call kept ‘busy’ and the messages blue-ticked by Sheebah.

 

Magogo, Muhangi to sue Uhuru for quitting

Sports federation chiefs have given Salim Uhuru 48 hours to run for re-election as boxing boss or face Russian-like assault. Uhuru shocked boxing by announcing he will not seek a second term at a time life leadership is a fad. Now Moses Magogo of Fufa and Uhuru’s rival federation boss Moses Muhangi say the pilau maestro is just fighting them indirectly.

Muhangi said not seeking re-election is not a Ugandan thing and that while they looked aside when Arthur Blick opted to step down from Uganda Olympic Committee job, they cannot let “the cancer spread as it will bring sports into disrepute.”

Magogo said if Uhuru has no time for boxing, how will he convince his pilau clients that he still has time to prepare the much sought-after dish.

Don Rukare, who needs a diary to recall all his sports attachments, denied asking Uhuru to step aside for him.

 

Global warming alert over police deployment on Besigye

Environmental activists have expressed fears that the continued large presence of security forces enforcing preventive arrest of Dr Kizza Besigye could cause global warming in Kasangati.  The activists have asked police to explain where they are doing their nature business, saying it is impossible for a human to keep their metabolism under preventive arrest.

“Our concern is genuine and it is compelled by past experiences when flies from all over the country converged in bushes around Besigye’s home over poop menace,” the activists said.

Police admitted that while they have no capacity to keep metabolism under preventive arrest, they have been able to successfully do so with flies.

“If you see any fly buzz around here, then assume that it is Besigye who has pulled off their Luweero bush tricks of changing into all sorts of animals. Just alert us,” police said.

Disclaimer: This is a parody column

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