Fabiola forgives herself
Socialite Anita Kyarimpa, aka Fabiola, has warned Ugandans off her family affair, saying she has already forgiven herself for any offence her father could have taken over her highly perfidious tirade. “Just me and him, nothing else, but now everyone is batting their artificial eyelashes in our affair as if what I do will make you lifespan brief and coiled like a pig’s tail,” she ranted.
Fabiola said she had reviewed the audio clip that went viral last week and realised that she is still lacking in invectives.
“I have to forgive myself for lacking in that aspect and maybe I should befriend Stella Nyanzi and upgrade my dirty-dozen. I feel sorry for myself.”
She also suggested she could sue her father for not saying anything, adding: “He can’t even respond, isn’t that useless? He has to fight like a man. But he can’t He is everything I called him.”
Bad Black clarifies on Pastor Bugembe mentorship
Shanita Namuyimbwa has said she did not imply anything like the Lord should lead Pastor Wilson Bugembe to her as a future wife as some “wannabes are claiming.”
The socialite, better known as Bad Black, last week tweeted a picture of her with Bugembe, with the caption: “Mentor, role model, blessed will be your future wife may the Lord lead you.”
The black-and-white differences between the two left many wondering at what point in the equator the mentorship and role model in their lives cross paths.
But Bad Black cheekily explained: “I don’t give tithe. Tithe is free but everything from me is paid for. Even Dr Aceng and the other one who was doing birthday parade, they paid. Now, my tithe is not [for] free and if Pastor Bugembe wanted to tithe in me, I don’t think his tithe is my size, so Bugembe and Bad Black just together like brother and sister.”
Stella Nyanzi Xmas gift sows confusion
Former Makerere University scholar Stella Nyanzi on Christmas Eve shocked herself by praising Bobi Wine, leaving many wondering why the brittle and motor-mouthed woman was suddenly mending fences.
Some said Bobi had sent a container of bitenge to Nyanzi and that this had floored her.
“These of Museveni waste time jailing Nyanzi but that cannot work on such a hardcore metal, now Bobi Wine has found the formula which was a simple bitenge,” said a fan.
Arguing his case further, the fan said the reason Olara Otunnu could not vote for himself in 2011 was because of bitenge too.
“Otunnu was stepping out to go vote when someone I cannot mention brought new starched bitenge. He just melted away and forgot everything else,” the fellow said.
But others claim Nyanzi was denied a visa to Europe for turning Bobi Wine into her pee-pot.
“Last time Elton John and co. ignored her funding pleas, now you will see her get donor cash,” another said.
Disclaimer: This is a parody column
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