Banamasaka have peculiar ways of exaggerating things.
Straight outta… The stereotype about Banamasaka is no secret but how is it that when you try to ignore it all, you turn around and just see another Lwasa.
Crossing that Lwera River is no mean feat. It is from this ‘great achievement’ that the Masaka anthem was composed by Mathias Walukaaga. Whenever you get into an argument with a Munamasaka, you will be reminded of that song; “Ekyatusomosa Lwera”. If you think Nansana people are a special lot, then you’ve not yet met Banamasaka. These guys have defined and touched everything in this country. Today we shine a light on these great people.
- The cars
You can’t mention cars and not mention Banamasaka. They are responsible for naming every car in this country. From Kawundo to Drone. Not only that, they are responsible for naming every car part and accessory in this country. Everything to do with the Ugandan version of car parts, Banamasaka are responsible. To a MunaMasaka, it’s not a catalytic converter, it’s a ‘kisanyi’ aka caterpillar.
When it comes to pimping their cars, Banamasaka are on another level. It all starts with that famous fluffy/feathery dashboard cover. There must always be something dangling by the front mirror of a Munamasaka. When this is done, it’s time to do something on the exterior. A brand statement against a hater or an ex, some proverb or sorts. And then sticker after sticker. To a Munamasaka, it’s not just a car, it’s a home, an experience of its own.
Despite this obsession with their cars, Banamasaka also have an innate disrespect for cars. In Masaka, every car can become a taxi. Banamasaka will always flag down any car and bargain for a lift. A Munamasaka’s car will carry everything from agricultural produce to animals to all sizes of people. There is nothing that can’t be done by a Munamasaka’s car.
- Relationships
Banamasaka are romantic. The men are good at spending on their women. But don’t be mistaken, everything is recorded and archived. Do not dare break up with a Munamasaka, especially if he spent a lot on you. If you want proof, look no further than the current President of Banamasaka, the one and only Lwasa. If a Munamasaka took you to Serena for lunch, the whole world will know. He will even have photographic evidence. All Banamasaka are open mouths, from a Mirundi to a Gashumba. All noise in this country is made by Banamasaka.
It’s the Banamasaka that have revolutionised kwanjula in this country, from the pompous decorations to the ‘Katumwas’ and dancers at the functions. Banamasaka will decorate everything, to them, every moment is an opportunity to make a statement, to disprove someone, to ‘kujooga’, to ‘kulumya.’ At the introduction ceremony of a Munamasaka, it’s a must to play; “Stabua Natooro”. All songs played at the ceremony must sting someone, the village neighbours or the co-wives.
- They know-it-all
Banamasaka are born with a special kind of confidence. It’s this confidence that can be found among boda boda riders who will mention a price despite having no idea of the destination. If you go to a Munamasaka’s business, he will always claim to be the supplier of everything you need. If he’s selling shoes, he will also claim to sell shirts. “Boss have a seat. You know some of these things, I keep in our other store,” before he rushes off to a neighbour.
Pray very hard that you don’t meet a Munamasaka carpenter or mechanic. The Munamasaka mechanic will always claim to know every problem on your car and have an assured solution at hand. It is always around the filter, the spark plug, the gearbox, and to confuse you further, he will always talk about the alternator.
- Noisemakers
Sometimes you may think Uganda is on fire. But on further observation, Banamasaka account for 80 per cent of the noise in this country. Banamasaka can never be quiet. All gossip in this country rotates around Banamasaka. God forbid you fall on the wrong side of a Munamasaka, you will be her daily topic of discussion. Tamale Mirundi, Frank Gashumba, Stella Nyanzi, Bujingo. Banamasaka can talk, they can threaten. That’s why the vice president continues to shock everyone, he is an exception to this Masaka rule.
- The coat of arms
Masaka’s emblem is the ‘grasshopper’ with an open mandible. Without nsenene, there’s no Masaka. Nyendo is the capital city of Banamasaka, while ‘Welcome’ is the biggest tourist attraction. It’s at this ‘welokamu’ sign that a person gets immersed into Banamasaka culture. And then to crown it all, one must go to Nabugabo beach. To Banamasaka, after Nabugabo, there’s no other beach. The Banamasaka will always show up in that sharp pointed shoe, shirt well-tucked in, and confidently rock Nabugabo beach.
It soon becomes clear that without Banamasaka, we literally have no country to speak about. The Kitovu people will also claim that without Kitovu, secondary education in this country would be a big lie. Banamasaka have peculiar ways of exaggerating everything. They are the gods of storytelling. Explains why they are great business people. If you think you have seen everything, imagine a Munamasaka driving a Subaru, living in Nansana!
Twitter: ortegatalks
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