When you read the Acute Angle, you might marvel at how seamless it looks. My thoughts laid out perfectly, my jokes on point. You would think I plan these things. Pen in hand, ideas in check. The perfect scenario. Writer of the year who probably deserves a plaque. To put it bluntly, it is chaotic. The whole process, I mean. To think of something entertaining enough to make your Fridays any better is no mean feat. Some of you are hard to please, others on hungry stomachs while the rest of you are waiting on some ka money you were promised.
Sad truth, that money might never come but I hope it does. Many of you are nursing broken hearts, others are nursing poverty pimples. The kind that sit rent free on your face on a Friday afternoon to kind of embody every problem you have going on for you. Some of you will read this thinking I have some burning kaboozi for you in my column today but waaah. Truth is, I am ‘angazi’. I am hungry too. Don’t think kayasi bites only you. It is threatening my whole livelihood this whole weekend so I might need a miracle. Pray for me brethren.
Yaaay! Finally, I have something to write about. So anha, you Game Of Thrones (GOT)fans. Are you for real or what? You guys have congregated us in this yuwa cultish obsession and its gotten irritating. You are everywhere. Who sent you? The Game of Thrones fans, especially the social media warriors are like a mob, Jesus! They are in churches, the streets, taxis and are unruly online. Our timelines feel like they have been ambushed everytime an episode is about to drop. I refuse to watch it for fear of losing my sanity. And also, my dignity cannot allow me to hang by slow WiFi waiting for an episode to download. I was raised better. I will wait for you bandwagoners to drain all your obsession, then we can have some peaceful oxygen pure viewing.
Of course what is Game of Thrones without the selfish people who drop spoilers. Were you not breastfed at birth? Did you not receive love in your childhood? Is your food served without soup/sauce? What buffoonery justifies people who drop the juicy scoop of something many haven’t watched? Keep stuff to yourself. It isn’t too much to ask, is it? But I thank God Game of Thrones ended. Now programming can go back to normal and grown adults can stop wrestling for remotes from their children. And also back to using office WiFi for its primary functions.
In more important news, I hope your New Year resolutions are shaping up five months in. If you are still full-figured after promising yourself to fight the fat at the beginning, you have plenty of time to redeem yourself. Just lift whatever love handle you can find from the ground and move. Move, shake like a can of yoghurt on your journey but that is a step towards improving yourself. Believe, man. Some things always look bleak at first but you just have to hang in there. Be stubborn.
To imagine that I had nothing to write about at the start and here I am….hmmm! We are not smart, just stubborn!
