Just when I was getting comfortable being single, one Anita’s story confused me and inspired me as well. She went like–
I am single and obviously not searching. I know it sucks to be as beautiful as the world thinks I am but can’t date. Okey, if I can, then not for more than four months—and the fellas somehow friend zone themselves and I don’t care because somehow my heart hasn’t accepted them completely in my life. Yes, life is that crazy.
I sipped on my gingered beverage as I listened on. I had particularly never sacrificed as much time for girl talk as I did that lunch hour break. Anita went on;
What happens in my life is no witchcraft. I slept, slept and woke up at around midnight, I knew exactly what I said and what it was I meant. ‘She will not have peace, she will stay that way until she gives up on marriage and eventually dies.’
Wait, does that make any sense to you? It doesn’t. Those are the words I mentioned while in bed with my Sammy, who I had dated for a horrible four days. Some how he got scared, he shook me up with all his might yet I was very awake, so I kept staring at him.
To say the least, Sammy thought Anita had the wildest of problems in this world. He told her to go and see a pastor and if she improved and got over her sleep talking, the two would get back together. Of course she wasn’t just about to go to a pastor to seek help over something she cautiously did.
One Monday, while she waited at a friend’s office for a little upkeep she had promised her, Anita heard a ‘woman of God’ preaching, on a small, old radio that the office cleaner held at the reception. She involuntarily listened to the loud fella in the studio, cursing, rebuking, and binding demons that hinder ladies from dating and getting married.
The pastor talked of a woman who had been lucky enough to have three men to not only to marry her traditionally, but also wed her in a row, but none of them survived to see their first child.
Well, according to the pastor, the woman in question had a curse following her, due to witch craft and somehow could not have normal relationships. The pastor begged people having extra ordinary occurrences in their lives to visit her church to be prayed for so they could live normal lives and get married.
Jeez! There I was thinking I was in those very uncomfortable shoes. But hey, I took a chill pill and stayed long enough to hear Anita’s tale which was inspired by the lady on radio.
To cut the story short, I started thinking God is not a coward so he wouldn’t send someone else to tell you something which he can tell you himself.
So Anita took note of the pastor’s name and address and decided to head there the following Sunday to receive her miracle. To her dismay, before she could introduce herself and mention her reason for coming, the pastor summoned her to the front.
Scared, Anita headed there; the pastor said to her, “Jane, you have a very serious problem. You cannot have a relationship for more than six months. Your stepmother bewitched you. You will never get married”.
Shocked, she opened her eyes wide, looked up to the pastor and said, “Ma’am, one, I am not Jane. Two, I have no known stepmother, and three, you are very right. My relationships do not last. But No, I am not bewitched, I just hate commitments”.
Anita’s story is one of those ill-fated occasions where pastors get their stories wrong. I used to wonder why my church has an average of 50 women, 30 children and five men; The pastor, the pianist, the guitarist, youth pastor and an usher. At one time, a friend asked to go with me so she could find a soul mate there and I told her not to bother. “Sweetheart, that’s a Wrong place for you,” I had assured her.
At the end of it all, I have come to deduce that much as marriages come from God, we should never blame others for our misfortunes.
ewatsemwa@ug.nationmedia.com
