You all know that ka exciting feeling you get when you finally hold your phone after so many hours. It’s like being released from police custody. Phone addicts can totally relate. We have grown so used to our phones that even a few hours without seeing or touching them could potentially send us into a coma. If you have been away from your phone for a long time, you tend to think that people will miraculously start remembering you and the messages from unlikely people will pour in. Something in our heads always tells us that the world will miss us like crazy when we go offline for a couple of hours. We expect stalkers, love interests, potential business clients, party buddies to gather their thoughts in that time and WhatsApp us. Its these expectations that ignite a fire within us when we grab our phones. As expected, the messages are usually too many. Thousands from across the globe. At that moment, you feel like the world’s most wanted person. It is after you open these messages that you realise that almost all of them are from WhatsApp groups whose use you can’t recall. Then your heart breaks.
It is believed that if the first six chats on your WhatsApp are all group chats, my friend you need to revise your life’s purpose. You have no life. There are WhatsApp groups of all kinds. You wonder why your primary OBs and OGs feel a need to reconnect – move on! Can you imagine visiting a barbershop twice then all of a sudden, management feels you are now part of their ‘family’? Just a few minutes after you leave, you will be added to the ‘Kakensa Barbershop Family’ WhatsApp group. Oh Lord Jesus! Members are not even sure of what to talk about or share. Our family WhatsApp groups are created for the sole evil of judging. Your siblings and relatives sit in a kamooli and create all sorts of impressions about you. They are fake too. Everyone wants to share a Bible quote to fit in well with family. Trouble comes when a certain inappropriate pic meant for your hooligan friends lands in that group.
There are many WhatsApp groups that never go to sleep. There will always be that one chap who wants to seem like he knows it all. They are annoying but somehow won’t be booted and keep the group very active like a bad virus. The boring ones sit back, judge and forward long jokes. The show-offs choose to ignore every message but only come alive when an idea of a party comes up. The daft ones will always reply with a quick “Hahaha” or ‘lol’. Everything is funny to them.
But again, there are some which are pretty interesting. They engage, inform and entertain. But again, the groups are too many. Don’t add me just for just. I think when Whatsapp introduces an option to leave a group without being noticed, people will feel relieved. Otherwise, special shoutouts to the ‘Football Jazz Only’ WhatsApp group for making my days.