1.Okay comrades, let’s discuss terrorism. Who can describe Al Shabaab for us? “A group of psychos, possessed with the Bin Laden ghost, which tells them to disguise as women … Sir that’s damn gay…”
2. Who can give us another description, yes bwana, Munyagwa Mugaati Gwa Butter, “A situation that causes UPDF deployment in Nakivubo channel and some guys covered in grass on the street. I want to take a selfie with one of them.”
3.One final description, aha, Afande Katumba Wamala, “Those are just cowards. For us we are like VJ Jingo, you miss the knee, you won’t miss the elbow, so they won’t miss the bullets here if they missed them in Somalia.”
4. So comrades, what solutions do you suggest?? Omuloodi Erias Lukwago tell us, “Jenifer should allow hawkers and street vendors back. Those people have all sorts of lugambo, so they can make good spies.”
5. Dr Kiiza Besigye, your suggestion please, “For me, just make me a sniper and you will see, I don’t even need those binoculars of theirs. I naturally zoom my eyes. And with the tear gas diet I was on, I can now sniff a bomb a kilometre away.” True that Doctor.
6. Comrade Kayihura, how do you plan to arrest this situation? “I am going to arrest all women with beards, and those with large mascular entumbwe. They are all potential suspects who could be disguising as women.” Hmm…
7. Wama rich boy, Ivan Semwanga, what do you suggest. “I think girls like Miss Uganda, my wife Zari and others like her should be used as guards to these shopping malls. Trust me, those terrorists will lose focus and then we can arrest them.”
8. Madam Speaker, your take on this?? “I am going to propose a bill that makes smiling compulsory. Anyone caught not smiling without permission will be taken as a suspect. Suicide bombers don’t smile.” We can’t wait honourable.
9. Maama Miria Matembe, your prophetic suggestion? “Actually for me I wish it were those Al shabaabs on that flight MH370. No one would mourn for them. I suggest we pray for them, maybe they will change.” Amen sister.
10. Finally Seya, a word of caution to the public. “Yes, these people are veli veli dangerlass, so the public should stay on veli high alarm, and lipot any suspion person hurry hurry, to the police…” Thank you Seya, they got the message.