T he Jennifer Musisi wave hit us three years ago when she was effectively put at the helm of Kampala Capital City Authority as the executive director. Her tenure, though hugely successful, has been marred by controversy highlighted by the power struggles with the Lord Mayor Erias Lukwago. An enigmatic character who has raised dust (which is plenty in Kampala), wherever she has gone, I hereby, lead you through ways you could be like the famed ‘Iron Lady’ Ms Jennifer Musisi Semakula.
Lightning Jennifer
Do not allow to be invited to the party. Who needs an invite to a party when you are Jennifer Musisi? Gatecrash the party and do not do it ordinarily. Do it in a big way that revellers never forget who you are. Strike like lightning whatsoever. People will not know what hit them and will remain looking around Angaazi.
Be destructive, imposing and unapologetic. Jennifer Musisi has cleaned up the city amid protests but she has continued to sweep her way almost into people’s bedrooms without listening to any pleas. Just like her, take over the party and assume roles as MC, Chief Chef, wine distributor but most importantly make your presence felt. Do not ask or consult anyone. It is a one man’s show and you are only answerable to The Lord.
Jenny from the block
Does she share anything with pop icon Jennifer Lopez? Hardly, I must say. While one Jennifer continues to travel around the world dazzling millions of adoring fans, the other chooses to operate in a smaller sphere; a capital city. The lesser known Jennifer hails from Masaka and making friends has never been her forte.
Kampala is her block and she runs it with absolute authority and control. You mess with her city and be sure the dogs will be running after you. So just like Musisi, you will have to take full control of your block. Plough any fear into anyone that tries to slow down any plans for your block. If they come vending tomatoes at your doorstep, throw them out without fear or favour.
Be the expert masseuse
Massage parlours are missing out on a great talent. Though a trained lawyer who is doing well for herself as the Executive Director of one of Uganda’s well funded authorities, Jennifer Musisi could have worked out a career in massage therapy. Her bias would have to be massage of egos.
However, this time, her massaging of egos would be more to deflate them than making them feel good. The way she massaged the hugely inflated egos of former mayor Nasser Ntege Ssebaggala and General David Tinyefuza was stuff of genius. She gave the egos of Ssebaggala and Tinyefuza an intense rub that they all left the houses they strongly claimed like orphaned kittens. You will have to handle apparent big personalities to bend it like Jennifer.
Play like Tom and Jerry
Like the mischievous Tom and Jerry did for many years, Jennifer Musisi and Lord Mayor Erias Lukwago have been the heart of the most documented battles of supremacy in recent times. They have bayed for each other’s blood with each one of them wanting to have total control of the city.
Unfortunately one of them is in control and the other is subdued. One of them calls the shots in the city while the other is more ceremonial. One of them makes the big reforms in the city while the other plays the role of a Saaza chief at a village wedding. More like a guest of honour to oversee events. So to be like Jennifer Musisi,you will have to draw battle lines and forever fight it out with that ‘other guy’ who wants a piece of the “city cake”. He probably will never win but still do it anyway.
Preach the law
The Constitution is your Bible. Read it, master it and use it to defend yourself at any opportune time just like Jennifer Musisi does. If a pack of wolves come baying for your blood, stop them and show them the Constitution and smartly tell them off with a corny phrase, “the constitution says…” Trust me they will all shut up.